Life Does Go On

Logan's passing on Friday was one of those events in life that present a lesson to be learned. I had been doing a bit of reading to try and figure out how to handle the situation with the kids. I by no means had figured out what I was going to do or what the best way to handle it was. So, I kind of jumped right in and did what I hoped was best. On Wednesday I had told Sydney that Logan was very sick and that she was not going to get better. Sydney knew I had taken Logan to the doctor the night before so she told me that the doctor could give her medicine to make her better. I tried to explain to her that this time that was not an option. I told her straight that Logan was going to die and that we did not know how much longer we had with her. I told her that we had to enjoy Logan and love her for each day we had left. I could not be sure how much she understood.

On Friday, I was thankful that Logan was downstairs and not in the direct sight of the kids. However, I thought that I should give Sydney the opportunity to say goodbye if that is what she wanted. At first she said no, then said she changed her mind. So, I took her downstairs to see Logan and say goodbye. She was OK with everything and didn't say too much at the time. I believe that Sydney loved Logan, but she never sought Logan out to play with her. Jason, on the other hand, would look for Logan & chase her around. He's been sick (round 2 of roseola) and we are not sure how much of his mood is attributed to that. He definitely kept us in the know that life goes on by throwing up all over the kitchen at dinner on Friday.

Since Friday, Sydney has talked to other people about Logan and will bring it up every once in awhile. Mom says she talked about her a lot on Saturday when they were making cookies. On Friday Sydney told me that we need to get a new puppy so that I would be happy again. I told her that I didn't want a new puppy, I was just going to carry Logan in my heart because she was very special to me & I loved her very much. The most freaky thing about Friday is that Robb & Michele's dog Boomer also died through the night. He died at 2:30am on Friday and Logan was at 11:50am on Friday. Less than 10 hours apart- tell me that is just coincidence! We told Sydney that Max is very sad about Boomer & that she probably shouldn't talk to him about it unless he brings it up to her. We were quite impressed that she did as we asked.

Things are moving on in the Taylor household. I am starting to sleep again & have fewer crying jags, but I still miss her & wish I had done many things differently. But, life is too short for regrets.

Here are some pictures of the kids with Logan. For Sydney, I had to pull out my all-time favourites. Unfortunately we don't have as many of Jason and Logan because neither would stay still long enough together to get a picture.

This last picture is our "Houdini" shot this past summer. We could never figure out how Logan could jump from the steps, clear the chairs, & land safely in the kitchen.